Unlike some of my friends, I didn’t spent my night/day at a camping site in Madras, Oregon, strings of lights scalloped across airy tents, a smush of Milky Way in the clear sky above. I also didn’t wake up at 5 a.m., don a “Total Eclipse of the Heart” tee and hike a mountain in Washington to view an astronomical phenomenon not seen by American eyeballs since Feb. 26, 1979.
Instead, I got up, walked my dog and worked inside for most of the day. (Minus the 10 minutes I spent hate-tapping my iPhone screen, trying to get it to focus for a somewhat-not-blurry shot of the sun.)
From my hazy view on a marketing mountain, #SolarEclipse2017 wasn’t an event but an opportunity ….
Dunkin’ Donuts had to show us how to make a pinhole projector.
Looking to watch the #SolarEclipse? ☀️ Check out this easy DIY pinhole projector using our Munchkins® donut hole treats box! 🍩 pic.twitter.com/wbEwJyBdWU
— Dunkin' (@dunkindonuts) August 19, 2017
Denny’s renamed a pancake a “mooncake” just to be relevant.
wow, unbelievable. a mooncake on a plate looks EXACTLY like an eclipse. sorry to blow your mind on https://t.co/iCgltxh1t3 today. pic.twitter.com/pOdYnXgyRn
— Denny’s (@DennysDiner) August 21, 2017
Mitsubishi released a new car called the Eclipse …
An Eclipse you can stare at. #TotalEclipseCross pic.twitter.com/25n0BQCcIS
— Mitsubishi Motors USA (@mitsucars) August 21, 2017
… And Taylor Swift posted a snake-like thing on her suspiciously bare social media accounts that may be a cryptic message about the release of her new single.
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) August 21, 2017
The corporate collective seemed to understand that something extraordinary would happen on Aug. 21 and wanted their piece of manufactured nostalgia. Although it’s hardly surprising big business would find a wormhole way to commercialize one of the universe’s most impressive spectacles … with branded spectacles you can win for FREE.
Ironic then that the brand eclipsing all others in its originality was MoonPie, a Chattanooga, Tennessee-based baked goods company that’s been selling marshmallow sandwiches since 1917. MoonPie (or the creatives who helm the Twitter account) threw some hilarious shade at confectionary giant, Hostess Snacks, when the latter company tried to lay claim to being the “official snack cake” of the eclipse:
Hostess has declared Golden CupCakes the official snack cake of the eclipse. #SolarEclipse2017 pic.twitter.com/dnCJx0yqPr
— Hostess Snacks (@Hostess_Snacks) August 21, 2017
Lol ok https://t.co/lobyuNOkee
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) August 21, 2017
Hostess tried to come back with a culinary truce, but MoonPie was all, nah bruh.
What do you say we use our snacking powers for good @MoonPie? How about the Mooncake? #SolarEclipse2017 #EclipseSolar pic.twitter.com/N0tc7jtW7C
— Hostess Snacks (@Hostess_Snacks) August 21, 2017
Lol no https://t.co/bSmOoA4C22
— MoonPie (@MoonPie) August 21, 2017
And, for those who want to see what a real photo celebrating the solar eclipse in all its celestial beauty should look like, check out this effort from a crew that scaled the heights of Smith Rock State Park:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BYEWI4CFTjs/?hl=en&taken-by=tedhesser
Of course the whole trip was sponsored by Columbia Sportswear but with an outcome this stunning, do we even care? I’m loath to write it but maybe sometimes, if there’s an Earth-shatteringly profound outcome at stake, the marketing guck can get eclipsed by what it might cause a few bright minds to create.
