When I was six years old, I spent two hours of my one-day trip to Disney World talking to Cogsworth, the clock from Beauty and the Beast. I think after hour one he was legally required to take a break (but I was wrapped around his foam leg so, no) and after hour two the dude just wanted to pound shots of tequila at the nearest bar while contemplating the legitimacy of his life.
“But wait, Cogsworth, are you really best friends with Lumière? And what do you eat? And what’s YOUR favorite movie? “
My loooong conversation stemmed from a still-present love of Beauty and the Beast, and luckily for my late-twenties-self, it’s a love shared by pretty much the entire world. How do I know? This week, the live-action trailer for the upcoming movie came out and it broke the Internet faster than a Kim Kardashian selfie wrapped in pictures of puppies and dreams:
1. Two words, one wizard: Emma Watson. While some questioned the casting choice, even a half-blurred shot of her face was enough to silence the detractors and prove no other actress than Watson could possibly play Belle. Plus, the intro to the trailer, with its single-note, twinkling melody and darkly elegant set, brought back some serious Harry Potter vibes.
#EmmaWatson stars in first live-action Beauty and the Beast teaser & it's beautiful https://t.co/m4gvq5bwu3 pic.twitter.com/XjLsqUEBs8
— MTV UK (@MTVUK) May 23, 2016
2. There’s more Harry where that Potter came from. Emma Thompson, who played Prof. Sybill Trelawney of Hogwarts divination fame, assumes the role of Mrs. Potts. The part is so perfect for the stately, English-bred Thompson, it’s hard not to wonder if she hasn’t been an elegant teapot this whole time but told no one.
3. One clock to rule them all. In addition to the overwhelming Potterosity in the film, there’s another epic wizard shacking up with the beast. Sir Ian McKellen takes on everyone’s favorite clock, Cogsworth, and while the beast’s mansion is no Mordor, I can totally see him commanding this role.
4. Don’t forget about Star Wars! Yep, one more major action-film franchise star is in this thing by way of Ewan McGregor as Lumière. And even if McGregor’s French accent has already been panned on Twitter, there’s something exciting about Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi turning into a fiery candelabra that I can’t quite put my finger on.
5. But what about vampires, you ask? Ah, this movie has those, too … sort of. Beauty and the Beast Director Bill Condon also directed the angsty, lovelorn teens of Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Parts 1 and 2.
Twilight, breaking dawn love the ending of the movie pic.twitter.com/zGvUVHrGPq
— Hilal Ashour (@superashour1) May 20, 2016
6. BBC drama fans, rejoice! Former resident hunk of Downton Abbey, Matthew Crawley, (known in real life as Dan Stevens), is the beast of this cinematic show and while I’m still mourning his exit from Downton, I’m pretty OK with Stevens coming back to life as Emma Watson’s love-interest-turned-monster. But what would the upstairs folks say?
7. New guy alert. Stanley Tucci plays “Credenza” the piano, a brand-new character joining the gang, described by Variety as a “neurotic maestro.” Also of note, Tucci played creepy host Caesar Flickerman in the Hunger Games, so the question remains: How many actors from blockbuster movie franchises can one film take before it spontaneously combusts? Whelp, guess Disney is about to find out …
8. “Be Our Guest” has a guest. Disney tapped Alan Menken, the musical mind behind Aladdin, The Little Mermaid and Tangled to get all musical for them. But Menken is no stranger to the lyrical wiles of Belle & Co. Along with his songwriting partner, Howard Ashman, Menken was also responsible for the score of Beauty and the Beast on Broadway. Translation: Best prepare yourself for some uber-catchy sing-a-longs.
9. Belle will be a beauty with brains. It’s expected that this film will continue the theme of female empowerment central to its fairy-tale predecessors like Frozen, Maleficent and Brave. It’s 2016, people, and no longer is Disney’s heroine a helpless but gorgeous wallflower stuck in a tower; the new Disney princess is a take-names-butt-kicking warrior worthy of a Beyoncé dance break. Or an Idina Menzel power ballad. Your pick.
10. Beauty and the Beast is the most watched trailer in the history of … ever. Judging by the crazy popularity of its teaser trailer—raking in more than 91.8 million views—it looks like the success of the film is (apologies in advance for this one) … a tale as old as time.
[MELISSA MARNI is a Southern California-based writer and the founder of little word studio. You can follow her musings on Instagram here.]
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