entertainment Hollywood Television

Fuller House Return Cloaked in Shadowy Veil of Mysteries and Secrets

A few months ago, I found myself in the midst of a big media coup when Netflix approved little me to receive press releases from that massive nerve center for all things streaming video. I am not sure if the Senior Vice President of Press Release Approvals approve everyone who submits an application, (alas, an Internet search says they do) but the email that informed me I am now an official member of the Netflix Press Corps. and can have access to all House of Cards episodes before anyone else (it didn’t say that) was impressive and also co-signed by Tobias Fünke and George Bluth. (It wasn’t.)

ANYWAY. Yesterday, a small, inconspicuous email landed in my email box that read: “Fuller House Returns Friday, September 22!”

Nothing more than what you see here. Just a sparse, exclamatory link, beckoning for my gentle click. And so I clicked. Inside, three equally scant bullet points: 

– Fuller House Season 3 launches on Friday, Sept 22 on Netflix 

(Yes, I knew that already. Moving on …)

– Sept 22, 2017 is the 30th anniversary of the original FULL HOUSE airing (Full House episode one aired September 22, 1987)

(Unclear why Full House is in ALL CAPS or why the air-date month on second reference is fully spelled out but the copywriter in me again moves on with ungrammatical alacrity to Bullet Point 3. Copywriter also notes the lack of subscript in the “th” but does not say a thing.) 

– Season 3 of Fuller House on Netflix is broken into two parts. First 9 episodes will launch on Friday, September 22. The second 9 episodes will air sometime in December (date tbc)

I actually had to Google “tbc” because I thought it meant “to be clear” and Netflix was being kind of coy with me, which might have been fun. My search revealed the acronym stands for “to be confirmed.” No period to end this last bullet point or close out the announcement, btw. The message concluded with this brief news that latest Fuller House season is dichotomous in nature and its second counterpart will be released on the last month of the year. 

Seriously, was the Netflix Comms & PR person on vacation when the email went out? Did some intern decide not to do his/her job for the day and write a press release? I mean, Fuller House ain’t a retelling of Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment. Why the cryptic, terse message? There’s zero need for enigmatic inscrutability. 

Then again, Netflix is worth about a bajillion dollars and my blog is read by sixteen people total, (including my dad and three other relatives plus a few friends), so who am I to question the madness? Yet, madness it is and not only because of this puzzling broadcast but also because I cannot possibly wait an entire almost-three months for the fluffical binge-watching utopianism that is Fuller House. Can you?!?!?

// featured image via Netflix.com

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4 comments

  1. Wow, weird. It does sound a little phish-y to me. All the URLs were legit? That single link makes me hesitate. But why would someone use Fuller House. lol.

    1. I have a feeling the head of the dept. took a loooong July 4 summer holiday and there somehow weren’t the resources available to draft a release and get it through corporate compliance by the deadline. Interesting, strange, anti-climactic (in a way) but still fodder for me. 😉

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