With an audience of more than 100 million, the first presidential debate between Democrat Hillary Clinton and Republican Donald Trump has already been deemed the Super Bowl of politics. (If only Donald’s hair or Hillary’s pant suits could be the half-time act …) But which candidate will commit the first meme-worthy gaffe? Who will give us that one line we’ll all be repeating tomorrow—I see you, binders full of women—and who, in this war of words, will reign supreme? Who knows?
One thing I do know: You should probably keep hitting refresh on this post to read my live updates and comment down below if you’ve got something else to say …
6:00 P.M. PT: Stage is set. Apparently AC units have been specially placed equidistant from the podiums to ensure no Nixon-esque sweat-gate at this political showdown …
6:03 P.M. PT: Former President Clinton is in the house! Wonder what that means for any potential of an infidelity reference by Trump?
6:04 P.M. PT: Here come the candidates! Hillary all in red, Donald in a dark suit and bright blue tie. By the way, was their handshake not more awkward than what you’d expect if Brad and Angelina suddenly ran into each other at a Hollywood bar?
6:06 P.M. PT: Clinton just referenced her two-year-old granddaughter because duh, adorable babies always win votes.
6:07 P.M. PT: Our first split screen between the candidates. If Trump’s look could talk …
6:08 P.M. PT: Trump’s voice is lower than normal, right? He’s said the word “jobs” six times now.
6:10 P.M. PT: Seven times.
6:10 P.M. PT: Eight, nine …
6:11 P.M. PT: “We just have a different view about what’s best for growing the economy.” Then, “Donald was very fortunate in his life.” First reference to Donald’s immense fortune.
6:12 P.M. PT: “Our country is in deep trouble.” – Trump
6:13 P.M. PT: Is it weird that I’m bothered by Trump’s pin being a little crooked?
6:14 P.M. PT: “I want you to be very happy,” Trump says to Clinton. “It’s very important to me.” Oh this is fun.
6:15 P.M. PT: Breaking … Trump doesn’t want foreign cookies in this country!
6:17 P.M. PT: Just noticed the words of the Constitution are on the backdrop behind both candidates but in the split-screen shot it reads funny. “Anyg its”? “Peopm shall”? #CopywriterProbz
6:19 P.M. PT: Donald Trump drinks water and (however subconsciously) sticks out tongue as Clinton references her husband, manufacturing and her voting history while serving as Secretary of State.
6:21 P.M. PT: Here we go. Fighting and talking over each other. This is what the people came for.
6:22 P.M. PT: “I know you live in your own reality …” – Clinton to Trump. Ooooh! An Apprentice reference!
6:23 P.M. PT: Clinton tells Trump to pick up her book at a bookstore or airport.
6:24 P.M. PT: The moderator (NBC’s Lester Holt) seems not to be able to control the candidates. He’s trying SO hard to move on to the next section. Poor guy has to transition them from ISIS to tax cuts. “You’re unpacking a lot here and I want to talk about taxes …”
6:28 P.M. PT: “I have a feeling that by the end of this evening I’ll be blamed for everything.” – Clinton
6:29 P.M. PT: “Trumped Up, Trickle Down” says Clinton, which is guaranteed to be a headline tomorrow …
6:33 P.M. PT: First reference to Clinton’s emails. First reference to Trump’s tax returns. Here we gooooo.
6:36: “There’s something he’s hiding,” says Clinton, which also sounds like the opening line to a dramatic movie trailer. Yikes.
6:37 P.M. PT: “It’s about time this country has somebody running it that has an idea about money,” said Donald, as he describes why it’s important America know he’s a billionaire.
6:41 P.M. PT: “Look, it’s all words, it’s all sound bites.” – Trump
6:44 P.M. PT: Oh geez. Now Holt has to transition from being on schedule for a hotel to race relations in America. This guy wins the debate no matter what …
6:47 P.M. PT: “No, you’re wrong,” says Trump, when Holt corrects him re: stop-and-frisk being unconstitutional. Hm, fact checkers?
6:55 P.M. PT: “I agree with you,” says Trump and America sighs a collective sigh, waiting for the promised political drama. Is Dancing With The Stars on tonight?
6:59 P.M. PT: Holt gets into the Obama birth certificate issue … Let’s see where this one goes.
7:02 P.M. PT: Clinton calls Birther theory a “racist lie.”
7:05 P.M. PT: Trump calls Clinton-sponsored commercials against him “nasty.”
7:14 P.M. PT: “I hope the fact-checkers are turning up the volume.” – Clinton. *mind roams to oompa loompa-like factory where thousands are sitting before brightly lit computer, googling Iraq exit strategies circa mid-2000s.
7:16 P.M. PT: Fourteen minutes left in the debate and I’m getting the distinct sense we’re not going to get the screaming match predicted by major media outlets.
7:17 P.M. PT: Trump calls Iran deal a “beauty.”
7:19 P.M. PT: “We have to knock the hell out of ISIS and we have to do it, fast.” – Trump
7:19 P.M. PT: Hillary Clinton is smiling a lot. Can’t tell if she’s happy with her debate performance or nervous.
7:20 P.M. PT: Is this debate Trump v. Clinton or Trump v. Holt? Jussayin.
7:21 P.M. PT: “I have much better judgment than she has. I also have a much better temperament than she has … I have a winning temperament. I know how to win.” – Trump
7:22 P.M. PT: Did Hillary just do the Nae Nae?
7:25 P.M. PT: “A man who can be provoked by a tweet should not have his fingers near any nuclear code.” – Clinton
7:31 P.M. PT: Sorry, my dog had to go. I’m back …
7:38 P.M. PT: Holt calls this a “spirited debate” and with that our first foray into a Trump-Clinton political battle is over. Geesh. Thoughts?