I’m Sick of Beer. Now What?

A word from Melissa: This post is written by guest blogger, Lexi Tess. Let’s give a warm, little word studio welcome to Lexi and enjoy her guest post, where she postulates new articulations on the same old lagers and ales … 

I’m sick of beer. Now what?

Correction: You think you’re sick of beer. Maybe it brings up bad memories. You know, the sweating through your shirt in the deep, dank basement of a frat house sort of memories. Maybe you’re tired of swigging from that same ol’ brew. Or maybe beer reminds you of watered-down urine. No matter the reason, you’re about to get a pint of inspiration this summer with these five ways to heat up the cold, boring brew-ski:

1. The Kicker

Image via Isthmus.com

Image via Isthmus.com

It’s Sunday morning and you want to add a little booze buzz to that caffeine kick. Make some cold brew and pour in stout (Oatmeal Stout or an Imperial Stout work best). You can even add cocoa powder and coarsely ground sea salt to get that perfect sip of salty and sweet.

Best part about this drink? Studies show that the caffeine-alcohol duo shoots your creativity into high gear. The beer gets those ideas bubbling to the surface, while the coffee motivates you to get ‘er done. So revel in your genius and kick guilt to the curb. (Kick-kick-kick-kick IT’S WORKING!)

2. Beermosa

Image via FoodBeast.com

Image via FoodBeast.com

Out for brunch with friends and feeling a little fancy but champagne isn’t calling your name? Order the super-chill cousin of the Mimosa: orange juice and a Belgian-style ale. Not only does it taste bright, it also looks like golden sunshine in a glass. This drink is the best kind of easy, breezy summer romance. By the time you reach the bottom, you won’t be able to stop smiling.

3. Michelada

Image via Mantry.com

Image via Mantry.com

You’re sweating it out in the urban jungle while friends post pictures of their summer cruises to Mexico and whirlwind trips through Latin America. Used up the last of those sick days and can’t afford to take a trip? Here’s a vacation in your mouth: Pick up a Mexican lager (Tecate works just fine), pour into a chilled, salt-rimmed glass and add lime juice. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, throw in hot sauce, tomato juice, clam juice or fresh peppers. And, if you’re feeling even more adventurous than that you can ditch the salt rim and line the edge of your mug with spicy Tajín.

Ándale, ándale! What’re you waiting for?

4. Shandy

Image via timeout.com

Image via timeout.com

It’s 1 p.m., you won’t be leaving the office for hours, and every cell in your body aches to be in Europe, where the afternoon siesta is a bonafide thing. Plus, your boss just posted a video of a dancing elephant on Facebook, so you know you’re not the only one hard at not-work. What’s a cubicle-bound wanderluster to do? Time to try a shandy.

The shandy, beer mixed with a soft drink, is a popular libation throughout western Europe and fast gaining notoriety throughout the U.S. Stay trendy by throwing your heels up on the desk and taking your tastebuds for a tour with one (or all) of these three shandy classics:

Radler: Imagine biking through the German countryside and then cooling off with a refreshing Radler (German for “cyclist”) by adding sparkling lemonade to beer.

Diesel: Wish you were zipping across the cobblestoned streets of Italy on a Ducati motorbike? Mix yourself a Dieseldraft beer and Coca-Colaand feel instantly like the Italian wind is whipping through your hair. Vroom, vroom.

Shandygaff: Sounds a bit like a newly discovered beast from Harry Potter, so it’s only fitting that this drink hails from Britain. Mix your beer with ginger ale or ginger beer and let the Quidditch games begin!

5. The Sweetest Gift

Image via SF.FunCheap.com

Image via SF.FunCheap.com

With good friends and family gathered around the pool, summer get-togethers can feel like Christmas in July. Go ahead and treat yourself to the sort of sundae that would land your inner child on the naughty list: Grab a tall, chilled glass and drop in one (or six) scoops of chocolate ice cream then add a bottle of chocolate stout. And, if you’re really in the spirit of things, top it all off with a little Kahlua. Sip slowly on this ice cream floating dream because it might not be Christmas yet but a chocolate-and-beer drink is the gift that keeps on giving.

Lexi Tess is currently following a loop-de-looping path through life. Sometimes she writes about that existential quest at LEXITESS.WORDPRESS.COM and posts poetry snippets On Instagram as @LEXICONFETTI.